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When I was fifteen I struck up a strange friendship with a man double my age. Pete was a year-old electrician and mature age university student with long hair in a ponytail, black eyes, and olive skin. An alluring mix of bookishness and muscles, he was far more appealing than the skinny metalhead boys I sat next to in maths and geography.
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I don't really care if she's religious or not, unless she brings it up all the time or tries to convert me. Log in or sign up in seconds. He is a great man and I know he will always put his family first but this is such a hard decision. Business of Medicine Navigate the complex business, legal, and ethical arenas towards building and maintaining a successful medical practice. I have been that crazy lady with four kids alone at everything, school events, home events, church events. Having said that I'm not looking to get married any time soon, so no. It is how she is programmed and it is a fundamental tenant of the religion. It kills me that we are now diminished to a mere statistic. Learning from a young age that any religion will do means that your children almost certainly will ultimately believe that any religion will do. As an atheist with Buddhist undertones who married a non-practicing, god-believing Mormon at the height of his questioning, I find this so interesting to me.

When I was fifteen I struck up a strange friendship with a man double my age. Pete was a year-old electrician and mature age university student with long hair in a ponytail, black eyes, and olive skin. An alluring mix of bookishness and muscles, he was far more appealing than the skinny metalhead boys I sat next to in maths and geography.

I told Des that I had a crush on Pete and rather than gently refocus my attention on kids my own age, he promptly facilitated a relationship between us. After the briefest of internal conflicts rippled across his face, he fucked me.

Their stunned faces made it clear they thought any relationship between Pete and I troubling. I hated being called that. It depersonalised me, reaffirmed that I was only a plaything to him, and that he also viewed me as some kind of threat: I would get pregnant, dob him into my parents, and his whole life would be ruined.

I experienced the age gap as exhilarating. In I presented as a mature year-old. Yet I was vulnerable and it was a terrible thing that Des and Pete could treat me so cavalierly. Des knew all this, and failed to see that the last thing I needed was a relationship with an adult man who would use me for sexual gratification. My initial confession to him of a crush on Pete should have gone nowhere. If a young troubled teenager now declared a romantic interest in one of my adult friends, I would ensure they never crossed paths again. I certainly would not hook them up.

Pete never quite broke it off, and would happily sleep with me whenever the chance presented, despite my stated ambivalence about whether the relationship — with its one-way adoration — was good for my wellbeing.

Surely it was within his capacity to draw a final line in the sand, even after he had already broached a moral boundary of sleeping with someone so young. In the end, it was up to me to just move on. And what of the bystanders? And the facilitator? A few years later he disclosed to an Age reporter his sexual abuse as a fifteen-year-old at the hands of a Catholic priest. He was rightfully enraged at the priest, and the socio-cultural circumstances that supported and hid such abuse.

It is unfortunate that I stumbled into his world before he had confronted the harms that had been done to him, and realised that — like all adults — he had a moral responsibility to protect vulnerable young people, whichever side of the age of consent they hovered.

I used to insouciantly wear my experiences with Pete like a jaded badge of honour: they were a crucial part of my rebellious, non-conformist adolescence. Now, in my late-thirties I know that I was very lucky to not have been hurt beyond a crushed heart. Also, the wider the age gap, the less likely the teenager was to use protection against STIs and pregnancy.

Yet, my immature adolescent sexuality was intolerably exploited. It was his responsibility to stop. Overland is a not-for-profit magazine with a proud history of supporting writers, and publishing ideas and voices often excluded from other places.

Thank you for rightfully articulating the rage that should encompass this sort of moral irresponsibility. Where were the mature adults in this story? Sadly they were not present, and sadly your friend had also suffered abuse of his own. I would like to believe parents are more attuned and outraged at this sort of behaviour these days — do you think? This is a rather naive article based on modern extending of childhood well into adult years. The simple facts are that by forcing adults to continue to play the roll of children until well passed their prime we are creating a society of naive children in adult bodies wearing leaders clothing, and the next generation is worse for it.

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